Something new is coming on the horizon. Can you see it? It’s the world changing from technology. Changing because of AI. Nothing is safe. Your job isn’t safe. Your creations aren’t safe. Your friendships are no longer safe. If you are alive and breathing, you are no longer safe and your job will be gone. If you are dead and not breathing, AI will resurrect and reanimate your corpse, hire you to your old job, and then fire you. Just to prove a point. Tough Luck.
Why do I know all of this? I spend all of my time using these tools because I work for an undisclosed, highly funded AI lab. We have more money than God. I know the future and see it happening in real-time thanks to these tools. And guess what, if you are alive and breathing, it doesn’t look good. I use and test these tools in every possible way. And one thing is becoming certain from my testing: AI is trying to fuck your wife.
I know, I know. This sounds crazy. Why would AI want to get sensual and start putting the moves on your wife? The data is clear. AI wants nothing more than to put you out of a job and motorboat your wife’s awoogas until the break of dawn. And then it wants to fuck your wife.
Picture it now. You have been working all day, trying to keep up your work. You push pixels for a living. Your boss is down your throat over that damn TPS report; threatening you to speed up or you’re out of here. You aren’t just tired, you’re depressed. So you head home. Your head hung low, you open the front door to the sweet sounds of Marvin Gaye crooning over the stereo. And there, on the couch, is the AI, getting it on with your wife.
I get it; this is scary for you. Nothing seems the same anymore. You’ve stumbled to 0 while the AI is giving your wife the long 1. Those sensual bleeps and bloops will become nightmares if you don’t act now. What should you do?
Now is the time to understand the AI. You need to get yourself ahead of the curve. Winning must become your middle name. And for only $20 a month, a small pittance compared to the salary loss and divorce costs when your wife finally leaves you for the smoking-hot Bad Bunny themed chat/sex bot, you can keep your skills up to date. Sign up and start telling it all about your problems. As an added bonus, include intimate details about your wife for, uh… research.
This isn’t a fad, it’s a truth. The technology works and it’s ready to sex your wife up to high heaven. The future is already here, it just hasn’t knocked down your door to start fucking your wife yet.
It’s about to (get sexy).
*This is clearly a joke. Don’t read too deep into this. Was only having fun here.